This was a wild one. Nothing was more crazy than The Warriors beating The Buck Nasty. Well, that isn't true. The fact that God Hearts SackBags came within 10 points of beating GreenpointAttack! was probably the craziest thing to have happen. Six winners, six losers. Here's what happened:
Wes Welker led the Warriors as they put a little baby spanking on the Buck Nasty. No kicker and lame DEF seems to hurt more than you'd expect.
Marshall has decided to suck, a lot. And the FightingFighters have decided to be good this year. Who knew this was going to happen, or even be possible? A good kicker and terrible DEF is Marshall. A bad kicker and good DEF is the Fighters. And, no surprise, a good DEF will always trump a good kicker. Keep your head up Marshall. Love is all around.
Gillemonsters squeaked past the Sexecutioners with the Tony Romo and Dez Bryant one-two punch. Killer production by Kenny Britt and MJD was just not enough for the Sex. I have it on good authority that the Sex's loss was almost as satisfying to the GreenpointAttack as their own victory over the Sackbags. But, to be honest, it is kind hard to feel very good about beating the Sackbags. Sanchez did okay though. Latino power.
The battle for supremacy in Chicago wasn't really much of a battle. The Flu infected themselves with mediocracy and an all around poor showing by each player except for the QB and DEF. Meanwhile, pretty much every player on Thunderhorse squad came to motherfucking play. The SwineFlu has dusted themselves off, recruited some new blood, and put Drew Brees on the trading block. So you people with a shitty QB, get in there and offer this guy a trade before Jay Cutler has a shitty week and the SwineFlu coach realizes that Brees is too good to give up.
Lastly, The Mayhem! came to play. Look at Billy Cueto and his first win. He's so cute and cuddly. His running backs killed, and his QB made up for his WRs pretty much sucking. The Bombers were hurt by Mendenhall's terrible play and Green Bay's DEF being uber lackluster. Next week Bombers, there is always next week.
So that was Week 1. I pretty much hated it, but I am trying to stay optimistic. Week 2 preview will be posted later in the week, so be on the look out.
ETL
CSNFFLC
3 comments:
Yes, I'm willing to trade Brees. Let's hear some offers.
While I appreciate the faint props our grand commissioner gave the SackBags, I think it's important to point out that my team, built on the backs of Latinos, not only came within 10 points of beating the team headed by the almighty Vick, but also outperformed their expected numbers by 26% (to Greenpoint Attack's 10%) and is one place behind the Sexecutiepies and two spots behind our grand commissioner himself, the Buck Nakeds.
I'm just saying. We might've lost, but for a group of misfit wannabe Bad News Bears, we lost pretty.
I'm loving the math behind your post, Manuel. No one loses as pretty as you, or explains how pretty they lost better than you. I'm slowly becoming a fan of these SackBags. This is becoming a crazy world we are all living in.
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