As many of you watched on ESPN2, the ChopStar Nation had its live online draft last night. First, I want to thank the two Nationers that made the trek out to Brooklyn to partake in all the food I slaved over for the last two days, all in anticipation for the draft. A well fed Nation, is a blood thirsty fantasy football drafting Nation, as the old adage goes.
Kira Henehan and Christopher Swetala were the only NYC based Nationers that made it out to our newly remodeled ChopStar Nation HQ (thank you Charlie Rengal), and for that they will always be near and dear to my heart. Farooq Ahmed, Sara Gilley, Colin Delaney, and Ryan Murphy -- you are all fucking dead to me. These four Nationers live with in spitting distance of the ChopStar Nation HQ, and all four knew about the live online draft 40 days in advance -- 40 MOTHERFUCKING DAYS -- and yet all four were unable to make the trek, even after I enticed them with chicken wings and pulled pork sandwiches. What more do you people want? You are dead to me. Not as dead to me as that cocksucking Billy Cueto, who will burn forever in hellfire for betraying us. He is uber-dead. You four are sort-a-dead. Let's leave it at that.
The rest of you Nationers are excused for missing the festivities here in NYC, as you all live too far away to have made it practical for you to have been here. Your punishment will be your having to live in other places other than NYC. Suckers. You are all not even close to dead to me.
HERE are all your draft results. Enjoy.
On CNN this morning there was a 45 minute discussion, among experts of varying degrees of expertise, about your own CSNFFLC's choice in taking Jay Cutler for his starting quarterback. The Buck Nasty is, admittedly, a little weak in the old QB department. Will Ben "Sex Offender" Roethlisberger mitigate this Cutlerization of the Nasty? Time will tell.
"BILLY CUETO SUCKS" t-shirts can now be purchased in the ChopStar Nation gift shop. Get yours today.
Week 1 Matchup News soon to follow. Here's a little taste: The Buck Nasty is coming to motherfucking KILL TheGreenpointAttack! no matter who's their quarterback. That's a lock.
E. Tyler Lindvall
CSNFFLC
Monday, August 23, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Chicago: No Longer Burning
Nationers: this is a great day. We here at the ChopStar Nation HQ received payment for not one of our member's dues, but two. Both coaches from Chicago paid. Our coffers are $40 richer. And I no longer can disparage an entire Midwestern city because the two ChopStar Nationers that reside there are deadbeating, goldbricking, layabouts that don't pay their debts. Now I will have to come up with other reasons to disparage an entire Midwestern city. I am sure I will come up with something. But not today. Today my heart sings and my mind shall soon be cloudy from all the beers $40 can buy me.
Thank you coach of the Thunderhorses and coach of The Swineflu. You are, for today at least, my favorite members of the ChopStar Nation. That will change, I am sure, so don't get cocky.
Look for me on Bravo tonight as I serve as a guest judge on tonight's episode of Top Chef. I will be live on Bravo's website answering questions after the episode airs. Be there or be square.
ETL
CSNFFLC
Thank you coach of the Thunderhorses and coach of The Swineflu. You are, for today at least, my favorite members of the ChopStar Nation. That will change, I am sure, so don't get cocky.
Look for me on Bravo tonight as I serve as a guest judge on tonight's episode of Top Chef. I will be live on Bravo's website answering questions after the episode airs. Be there or be square.
ETL
CSNFFLC
Monday, August 16, 2010
New York vs. New York
What? Here in the Big Apple we have the Jets vs. Giants. I just wish it was cooler out, but I will take what I can get. Football is enough.
And after this Sunday night, all you Nationers will be able to lie your heads on your pillows and dream about all your various options for your starting line ups. That will be fun, huh? I, for one, can't wait.
Be sure to go HERE to participate in some mock drafts (we are a 12 team fantasy football league). Go HERE to log into our league.
Email me with questions, comments, concerns. Email me if you need me to send my address so you can pay your $20 entrance fee. Oh, and, Honness, your payment is no where to be found. Did you send via carrier pigeon?
E. Tyler Lindvall
CSNFFLC
And after this Sunday night, all you Nationers will be able to lie your heads on your pillows and dream about all your various options for your starting line ups. That will be fun, huh? I, for one, can't wait.
Be sure to go HERE to participate in some mock drafts (we are a 12 team fantasy football league). Go HERE to log into our league.
Email me with questions, comments, concerns. Email me if you need me to send my address so you can pay your $20 entrance fee. Oh, and, Honness, your payment is no where to be found. Did you send via carrier pigeon?
E. Tyler Lindvall
CSNFFLC
Thursday, August 5, 2010
17 Days Until Christmas...ChopStar Style
This is a reminder to all you ChopStar Nationers: our online live draft will be Sunday, August 22, 2010 at 8 in the p.m. (EST)...only 17 short days away. I highly recommend everyone do a couple of 12 team MOCK DRAFTS before draft day, so you can get a feel for how it all works, etc.
A special note for all you NYC area Nationers. Before the draft, I want you all to come to the old ChopStar Nation HQ (my place) for some beers and food. I am going to put a pork shoulder in the crock pot so we can have some pulled pork sandwiches with the homemade soon-to-be awarding winning ChopStar Nation BBQ Sauce. I will also throw some spicy Cajun chicken wings in the oven. Baked Beans and potato salad will round out this culinary feast. Bring a six pack (or more) of beer and a laptop for the drafting. Come at 6, so we can be properly primed come draft time.
Email me if you can make it.
Yours,
ETL
CSNFFLC
A special note for all you NYC area Nationers. Before the draft, I want you all to come to the old ChopStar Nation HQ (my place) for some beers and food. I am going to put a pork shoulder in the crock pot so we can have some pulled pork sandwiches with the homemade soon-to-be awarding winning ChopStar Nation BBQ Sauce. I will also throw some spicy Cajun chicken wings in the oven. Baked Beans and potato salad will round out this culinary feast. Bring a six pack (or more) of beer and a laptop for the drafting. Come at 6, so we can be properly primed come draft time.
Email me if you can make it.
Yours,
ETL
CSNFFLC
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
12 Teams Enter...
What? We got all twelve teams registered (still only one person has paid their dues, but I am not going to rant about that right now) in the ChopStar Nation.
First, we need to welcome our newest member, Mr. Gordon B. N. Haber, coach of the awkwardly named TheFightingFighters. Yes, we finally got the Haber. I've had my eye on him for quite some time, never saying anything before, not wanting to get everyone's hopes up until I knew if all the stars would finally align. We needed to trim our fat (Die Billy Cueto, fucking die) and then I had to pull out all the stops and put the old hard sell on Haber. All summer Gordon has been recruited, wined and dined, by some of the finest Fantasy Football leagues out there, but we got him. He has finally signed with the ChopStar Nation. Gordon will be a welcome ray of angst, laced with lots of piss and vinegar, all of which I think will add a lot of color to this year's smack talk.
Lastly, Jeremy Honness, the coach of the Thunderhorses, has finally registered, rounding us out to our lean and mean 12 team roster. Welcome Honness. Pay me my money.
We got a solid set of coaches here this year. I think it is going to be fun.
Our draft is in 18 days, 9 hours, and 39 minutes. Let's get it on.
ETL, CSNFFLC
First, we need to welcome our newest member, Mr. Gordon B. N. Haber, coach of the awkwardly named TheFightingFighters. Yes, we finally got the Haber. I've had my eye on him for quite some time, never saying anything before, not wanting to get everyone's hopes up until I knew if all the stars would finally align. We needed to trim our fat (Die Billy Cueto, fucking die) and then I had to pull out all the stops and put the old hard sell on Haber. All summer Gordon has been recruited, wined and dined, by some of the finest Fantasy Football leagues out there, but we got him. He has finally signed with the ChopStar Nation. Gordon will be a welcome ray of angst, laced with lots of piss and vinegar, all of which I think will add a lot of color to this year's smack talk.
Lastly, Jeremy Honness, the coach of the Thunderhorses, has finally registered, rounding us out to our lean and mean 12 team roster. Welcome Honness. Pay me my money.
We got a solid set of coaches here this year. I think it is going to be fun.
Our draft is in 18 days, 9 hours, and 39 minutes. Let's get it on.
ETL, CSNFFLC
Monday, August 2, 2010
God and The ChopStar Nation...
I am not a religious man. I mean, I guess when I have to really dig deep into the old mind and soul and think about the beauty that is fantasy football, I have to admit that there must be some sort of higher power. If there isn't a god, then who and the hell made up fantasy football? This is reason enough for me to believe.
That all being said, I am more than a little perplexed by all the team names in the ChopStar Nation that invoke some sort of religious iconography. I said on CNN the other night, and I will keep saying it until they prove Charlie Rangel innocent, the ChopStar Nation is now, and has always been, a secular fantasy football league. So, all you Nationers that are naming your teams things like God Hearts Sackbags, Leaping Lazaruses, and The Archbishop in what I can only assume is a half-hearted attempt to get god, if he does exist, to tip the scales to your side each every week your team steps onto the field of play simply won't work. God, except for his inventing the wonderful past time we all call fantasy football, has no place in fantasy football.
Oh, and you deadbeats need to pay me my $20. So far, Sara Gilley is the only Nationer to have paid, which makes your commissioner, the only God you really need to be concerning yourself with, very happy with her and VERY unhappy with rest of your goldbricking asses.
This has been E. Tyler Lindvall, CSNFFLC
That all being said, I am more than a little perplexed by all the team names in the ChopStar Nation that invoke some sort of religious iconography. I said on CNN the other night, and I will keep saying it until they prove Charlie Rangel innocent, the ChopStar Nation is now, and has always been, a secular fantasy football league. So, all you Nationers that are naming your teams things like God Hearts Sackbags, Leaping Lazaruses, and The Archbishop in what I can only assume is a half-hearted attempt to get god, if he does exist, to tip the scales to your side each every week your team steps onto the field of play simply won't work. God, except for his inventing the wonderful past time we all call fantasy football, has no place in fantasy football.
Oh, and you deadbeats need to pay me my $20. So far, Sara Gilley is the only Nationer to have paid, which makes your commissioner, the only God you really need to be concerning yourself with, very happy with her and VERY unhappy with rest of your goldbricking asses.
This has been E. Tyler Lindvall, CSNFFLC
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)