ChopStar Nation Playoffs 2010 - Week 1 (of 3)

It's the playoffs, baby.  This is always a happy and sad time for all of us in the ChopStar Nation.  Happy times for the eight teams that made the cut and moved onto the playoffs.  Sad times for the four teams that didn't make the cut this year.  I have these words of consolation to offer the coaches of the TheFightingFighters, God Hearts SackBags, TheSwineFlu, and Thunderhorses:  at least none of you are Billy Cueto.  That must feel good, right?  Plus, in one short week there will four more teams joining you in your misery.  And there is always next year, so get angry, get mad, get even with all these other assholes in 2011.

Now, let's take a look at our week one playoff match-ups.

The Buck Nasty vs. Leaping Lazaruses

Lindvall brother versus Lindvall brother take 2.  Way back in week 9 these two matched up with The Buck Nasty opening a can of serious whup-ass on the Lazaruses.  This is really a no brainer.  The lack of RBs will again cripple the Limping Lazaruses into another loss, killing their playoff dreams quickly and rather effortlessly -- mostly likely all due to the nastiest of the Nasties, Michael Vick. 

TheGreenpointAttack! vs. Warriors

Let's be honest...the Warriors have struggled this year.  Peyton Manning's interception-palooza has done them no favors.  But!  But, the wise pick up of Chris Ivory in their ever revolving RB position could just be the thing to knock the Warriors past TheGreenpointAttack! in the first week of the playoffs.   This one will be close, but I think the nod will go to the Warriors.  It really doesn't matter much, as whoever wins this game will have to go on and play The Buck Nasty in week 2, so both coaches should really ask themselves if they want to get out while the getting is good this week or the next.  SNAP!

Marshall vs. The Archbishop

This one will be close.  It really will most likely come down to which mediocre QB will be less mediocre.  I think The Archbishop will squeak past, by a hair.  Or, wait Marshall will squeak by.  I can't decide.  These two teams squared off against each other twice in the regular season, each winning once.  I just don't know.  Maybe a tie would be fitting.  The one thing I do know is that a check for $20 from The Archbishop's coach is burning a hole in my pocket right now -- that's right, they are all paid up, leaving only one cocksucking deadbeat in the Nation that still hasn't paid.

Millbrook Midgets vs. Gillemonster

Ah, the epic battle of third string WRs...who will win?  Who knows?  I guess whichever team's third string WR actually decides to step up.  Millbrook Midgets's coach still owes me...nay, he owes all of us in the ChopStar Nation $20, so I suppose all of us should collectively root against him.  I mean it is only $20, but it's the principle of the thing.  Pay your debts,  man.

So there it is.  I know I don't say this enough, but win-lose-or-draw, I love all of you in the Nation.  I am getting sad now.  I hate it when football season ends.  What will I do with myself?  Tear.

ETL
CSNFFLC